Tonight I am reminded of Caedmon's Call lyrics, "This world has nothing for me and this world is everything, all that I could want and nothing that I need". The last couple of months I have had two friends develop cancer, both went under crazy amounts of radiation and chemo, and both had two very different results. My one friend after undergoing a hardcore cancer recipe has been declared cancer free. However, cancer has assaulted my other friends body. His wife has had to tell his children that their daddy is dying and that now it's about making daddy comfortable.
Complete opposite outcomes. I feel both triumph and udder sadness at the same time. I felt this deep stirring of emotions when the twins were born. A friend of ours had a son and he only lived a few hours. I was excited at the birth of our twins, but my heart wept and bleed for this mother who lost her baby. I cried out to the Lord in the unfairness of giving me twins and taking her one. Could He not have given us each one baby and called it good? My heart was torn.
As I mull over these two opposite reactions, as I mull over the pain in both situations, I know that God works for good even in our pain. I have found that it is in my agony and deep grief, that if I let God hold me, if I allow myself to get mad at God, if I allow myself to feel the pain and unfairness. It is in this place that God meets me, when he comes he brings peace. He does not always give me clarity, he doesn't always give me a reason, but he does show himself to me. He does show me sunshine in the darkness of my pain. He does not let me sink, he carries me, and lets me cry.
There is joy in miracles and tears in goodbyes. I don't really understand either, but I do know my God has proven himself to me over and over. I pray that when the road is dark and I don't understand, I pray God will pick me up and carry me.
Please pray for my friend who's family is getting ready to say goodbye to him. Lord, bring them your peace, bring them the strength that only you can give.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
It's not enough to want our nation to change! It is the people that must change!
I watch our nation fall apart, I watch newscasts of government shut downs. I see republican, democrats, and everyone in between having a tantrum. I see the moral scales tilting, I see a nation I grew up to love falling apart. My Grandpa knowing that he would be drafted, entered the army willingly during WWII, serving with a medical unit on Christmas Island, experiencing horrific, horrible things my mind doesn't even want to consider experiencing. During the Vietnam era my dad too knowing the inevitable would come enlisted before he got drafted and joined the Navy. I thank the Lord everyday that the war ended before my dad God to the shores of the war, the war ended on his way to the battle fields. Their sacrifice teaches me that this country is a country worth fighting for, the freedom's it offers are worth fighting for.
I see a nation who is tolerant of affairs in marriage, a nation were marriages both in Christian homes and secular fall apart. I see a nation in which it is tolerant to be a homosexual, but Christians are being shunned and forced out of business. Someone, please tell me, how that is tolerant? It is merely taking an eye for an eye, it is giving hatred in return.
To turn our faces away from the Lord is to slap our creator in the face. Sure he's strong enough to withstand the blow, but our hearts, our hearts that need to be connected to the Saviour, our souls that hunger and thirst for God, are not strong enough. We cannot cut ourselves off from the maker and creator. I am not strong enough. Any time you take God out of the drivers seat and place a human in His place, it can only lead to ruin and a destructive crash!
Our nation does not need to change, what needs to change is the hearts of the people in our nation. A house is not made a home until a family makes it a home. America is no longer America, because it's people are choosing hatred and selfishness. The people in our nation are choosing to love themselves, they are demanding their way or no way, and they will stop at nothing to accomplish it. Is it worth it to gain a right and yet loose a nation? We have lost a love for our fellow countrymen. When the hearts of our nation change, then our nation will change. Our nation needs to change, our nation needs to not be what it once was. It needs to grow and emerge the amazing butterfly of a nation that only God alone can make it to be. Do I want the same nation as before, no, but I do want a nation were I can home school my kids without fear of loosing them. I want to live in a nation were I am not afraid of saying I love God with all my heart and all my soul and all my strength, with out the rest of the nation thinking I hate them and wish them the worse. That's not it at all! I want to live in a nation were I can learn from those around me, regardless of what their sexual orientation is, religious beliefs or skin color! I know my God is big enough to handle that and he is able to guide me through it.
What I want is for others to find the amazing peace and joy I have come to have through Jesus. I don't want to force you to have it, God didn't force me and I won't force you. But, I do want to be allowed to love the God who loves me. I do want to be allowed to do it, without you being offended. It is between you and God what you choose, but let me do it. I am not weak for loving my God, I am made strong because I am weak!
What our nation needs is healing! We need to stand in front of each other and grieve with each other. We need to grieve the lose of our country. We need to seek each others forgiveness. We need to look beyond all the crap and see each other for who we are. Sinners, each one of us, in need of forgiveness and love from each other and from God.
The hope of our nation rests in it's people, the hope of a nation rests in a nation turning from their selfishness and acknowledging others thoughts, feelings, and needs above their own. Will you be the healing change or will you be the driving force that pushes us further apart. We have a choice America! We have a choice! What will you choose to do?
As for me, I choose peace! I choose to love, I choose to love! I pray that when I don't feel compassionate God will rain it down on me. My God, My God do not turn your eyes from our nation. Send your healing, send your love, send your peace!
I see a nation who is tolerant of affairs in marriage, a nation were marriages both in Christian homes and secular fall apart. I see a nation in which it is tolerant to be a homosexual, but Christians are being shunned and forced out of business. Someone, please tell me, how that is tolerant? It is merely taking an eye for an eye, it is giving hatred in return.
To turn our faces away from the Lord is to slap our creator in the face. Sure he's strong enough to withstand the blow, but our hearts, our hearts that need to be connected to the Saviour, our souls that hunger and thirst for God, are not strong enough. We cannot cut ourselves off from the maker and creator. I am not strong enough. Any time you take God out of the drivers seat and place a human in His place, it can only lead to ruin and a destructive crash!
Our nation does not need to change, what needs to change is the hearts of the people in our nation. A house is not made a home until a family makes it a home. America is no longer America, because it's people are choosing hatred and selfishness. The people in our nation are choosing to love themselves, they are demanding their way or no way, and they will stop at nothing to accomplish it. Is it worth it to gain a right and yet loose a nation? We have lost a love for our fellow countrymen. When the hearts of our nation change, then our nation will change. Our nation needs to change, our nation needs to not be what it once was. It needs to grow and emerge the amazing butterfly of a nation that only God alone can make it to be. Do I want the same nation as before, no, but I do want a nation were I can home school my kids without fear of loosing them. I want to live in a nation were I am not afraid of saying I love God with all my heart and all my soul and all my strength, with out the rest of the nation thinking I hate them and wish them the worse. That's not it at all! I want to live in a nation were I can learn from those around me, regardless of what their sexual orientation is, religious beliefs or skin color! I know my God is big enough to handle that and he is able to guide me through it.
What I want is for others to find the amazing peace and joy I have come to have through Jesus. I don't want to force you to have it, God didn't force me and I won't force you. But, I do want to be allowed to love the God who loves me. I do want to be allowed to do it, without you being offended. It is between you and God what you choose, but let me do it. I am not weak for loving my God, I am made strong because I am weak!
What our nation needs is healing! We need to stand in front of each other and grieve with each other. We need to grieve the lose of our country. We need to seek each others forgiveness. We need to look beyond all the crap and see each other for who we are. Sinners, each one of us, in need of forgiveness and love from each other and from God.
The hope of our nation rests in it's people, the hope of a nation rests in a nation turning from their selfishness and acknowledging others thoughts, feelings, and needs above their own. Will you be the healing change or will you be the driving force that pushes us further apart. We have a choice America! We have a choice! What will you choose to do?
As for me, I choose peace! I choose to love, I choose to love! I pray that when I don't feel compassionate God will rain it down on me. My God, My God do not turn your eyes from our nation. Send your healing, send your love, send your peace!
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