I use to want to...

Loving life for me looks like watching
my husband spending time with our kiddos!

I use to look at other people's lives and wonder why my life wasn't as fun filled as theirs. Wondered why I didn't have the awesome camper, the amazing diamond ring, or a thrilling adventurous life. I kept hearing my friends say how much they loved their lives and they truly meant it, they really did love their life. I would start crying, because I didn't love my life and I wanted to.

It occurred to me that if I was desiring something, if I wanted something, or if there was something missing in my life, then I needed to take these desires and wants to the Lord. I needed to align myself with Christ and get my attitude right.

Seeing sheer joy on Naomi's face...
is part of my loving life!

I went before the Lord and poured my heart out to him. I started with a pity party telling the Lord I see others have this, that, and the other thing. I then asked for forgiveness for having the pity party and then I could get to the heart of the matter. I told the Lord what I was really wanting was to love my life. I prayed continually for God to bring a love of life back into my life. 

As always, God hears, God cares, and God answered! First, God started with having me do a self evaluation. Why was I not loving life and was I responsible for the fact that I wasn't loving life. The answer was yes I was the one responsible for not loving my life. 

Loving life first begins with loving Jesus the savior and God the father. Real joy, lasting joy, can only come when one is abiding in Christ. Apart from Christ, apart from the vine (John 15:5) we can do nothing. Which means I cannot love life either. If I am not abiding in Christ then everything I am doing, every relationship I have is only meant to give me instant gratification, which will wear off after time. Some times with in minutes. My love of life first has to stem from a love of the father! The start of loving life was reconnecting to my "vine" and reconnecting to my savior. Allowing my savior to fill my cup to overflowing. The second thing was to being to pray for the Lord to bring into my life that which would bring me closer to him, but also fill my want of loving life.

My love of life also began by pouring out into others, spending time with friends. Having heart to heart conversations, mentoring young moms, and mentoring others. It has also looked like walking/running to get my body back into shape to have energy. This too has opened opportunities to go for walks with friends and again opening up time for conversation and time to deepen relationship with my friends. Loving life looks like holding my husbands hand and watching my kids ride their bike. Loving life looks like having great food, great friends, and great beer. Loving life looks like praying to either get back into horses or for the Lord to bring in a new passion. Loving life looks like me humbling myself and constant asking For more of Him and less of me. I seriously repeat this pretty much all day, every day. It's all I want in this world is to have more of God in me and less of myself.

watching Titus catch a fish for the first time
was a moment of loving life!

Loving life is a two fold process, it's asking God to open your eyes to the things your having pity parties about and then repenting of them. But, it's also looking around and seeing the things that already allow me to love my life. It's practicing thankfulness and gratitude.  Changing our perspective so that it radiates Christ back to us, allowing us to love life. 

If you don't know were to start, go to God the father and ask him. He is so faithful to his children! He loves us so much and he wants us to find joy abundantly. But, joy and a love of life will only ever come from Christ alone, from more of God and less of me!

You cannot force a cocoon or a petal to open!

You cannot force a cocoon or a flower petal to open. You can force them, but both will be destroyed and the extent of their beauty will be destroyed. This is also true of children, you cannot force them to be ready for something. As much as we would like to force our hand in situations, it cannot be done.

However, in the midst of waiting for the flower pedal to open, it does require soil, sunlight, and water. It does require care. This is also true with kiddos. One example of this is my Madeline. Last year she began kindergarten and we began putting together letter sounds to form words. Learning C-A-T, spells cat and D-O-T, spells dot. We worked on memorizing words you simply cannot sound out. We have also read to Maddie since she was in my womb. We read semi hard books, easy books, just about anything she shows interest in.  Blending words, especially big words can be quite overwhelming for the new reader. But, we pushed through. We continued working on letter sounds, putting the letter sounds together and reading words together. We learned how to find word families and to blend them together to figure out the word. There were light bulb moments going on all through the year at different times. I was giving her the information she needed and letting her grasp the concepts as her brain and emotions were ready. Sure enough she has exploded as a reader.

Another example is Madeline learning to swim. She has been afraid of putting her face in the water, afraid to go in even shallow water without her life jacket. We have had her take swimming lessons to get use to the water and learn swimming strokes. We have swam with her, we have let her jump to us in the water, we have helped her feel safe in the water. Then today I took her in deeper water with her life jacket on and showed her that she would float with her life jacket on. Once she realized she could float, she then realized she could swim for real, then she went in shallow water were she could touch and taught herself how to swim.

Patience and the willingness to continue to teach tools that will aid in their success of grasping a concept is priceless and very well worth it! Sometimes a tool looks like teaching letter sounds, sometimes it looks like teaching them they can float in water, sometimes it is teaching them that I am trust worthy. Sometimes the tool is working on a character trait that needs to be strengthened.

I have been encouraged over and over again as I have anxiously waited and prayed for my kids to grasp what I am teaching. Sure enough, they do!

The big jig saw puzzle

I have always had a heart to minister to others and I have always had a heart for ministry. I began ministry by leading a small group bible study while I was in high school. I have lead kid's clubs, worked for the salvation army day camp, lead campus crusade on a college campus, worked at a christian camp ministering to staff, campers, and families. I have co-lead a singles ministry and now I have a ministry raising my own three kiddo's.

When I married I had just come off of a three year run as head wrangler at Camp Redcloud. I was burned out and needed a break from ministry, but the ministry break didn't really come until we had the twins. I have been on a three year sabbatical of raising and surviving twins and their big sister and working on my relationship with Mark.

God has used my time of raising kids, working on my relationship with Mark, and homeschooling my kids to come to the place were I am today. Mark and I have gone through stages of metamorphosis! Going from a egg, to a caterpillar, molting numerous times, and finally emerging as a butterfly. Then we will begin the cycle again as God we continue to raise our kids and go through life becoming more in His likeness and going through yet another metamorphosis.

I am excited at the place God has finally brought Mark and I. We have struggled, we have cried, and God has turned our tears and sorrows into joy. He has triumphed in our lives, He has the victory over sin and struggles in our lives!

The Lord let me have a time of quiet, a time of giving to Mark and the kids, and a time of being quiet. Now, God has brought both Mark and I on board with a heart towards ministering again. We have no idea what this looks like. It could mean moving and joining another camp or other ministry. It could mean ministering within our church. It could look like ministering to our neighborhood. We don't really know, we simply know God is moving in our hearts and lives and we are ready to see what the next piece is to our puzzle.

This week I have had the chance to pour truth, scripture, and prayer into the life of a precious dear young lady in my life. Helping her to walk through her struggles and love her at the same time. Giving her the same truths that were given to me by people who loved me through my struggles. Praying for God's triumph in her life and God's victory of freedom in her life! I am both humbled and thrilled that the Lord is using me again in the lives of others for His glory!

God is using me where I am at in my life in the lives of others. My willingness to submit to my husband and raise the kid's God has entrusted to me in the way I know he wants me to raise them, is ministering to others in powerful ways. Oh, yes Lord, use me!!!

I am so thankful for the down time God has given me from ministry but I am SOOOO ready and SOOO excited to jump back in with both feet. One of my very favorite aspects of ministry is inviting people over to share meals with us. Allowing the setting for conversation to flow in any direction it wants or needs to go. Simply living life with others and being real with them.

God is using me and I am so ready!

Tackling Goliath

This last weekend Mark and I went to the MACHE homeschooling conference held
in Minnesota for two days. We learned so many tools to put in our parenting and teaching belts. We walked away with a glimpse into the different ways boys and girls learn. We walked away with a better grasp on how to engage my preschoolers while teaching my first grader. We also learned how to better teach our kids habits and character!

During one of the classes on forming habits I began to pray and seek the Lord for the habit we needed to address first. I knew that we have a fairly good grasp on obedience in our house. I had an idea of what habit to address first, but I wanted to make sure I was on the right track. I talked with Mark and we both prayed and decided the area we need to tackle first is whining.  All of our kids whine from time to time, but, one of our kids in particular thinks that whining is the best form of communication. Now that I knew whining was the  first habit to address, the next thing to do was pray, pray, and pray some more! Pray for wisdom, pray for the soil of their hearts and minds to be ready to be tilled, ready to be molded. We can plant the seeds, we can provide the training, but, if their hearts aren't ready the seeds will fall among rocks or be plucked up by "birds".

I decided to use the story of David and Goliath. We acted out the story and the kids learned that David's brothers, the ones sent to fight Goliath were grown men like their daddies, grandpa's and how David was young like their cousin Elijah. I told them that David knew that it was not himself that would defeat Goliath, but that it would be God using him to kill Goliath. I then shared with them that in our lives Goliath is not always a person. Sometimes, Goliath is the hard thing we have been asked to do. Goliath in our lives can be having to pick up the toy room, eating something we don't like, having a good attitude when we would rather whine and complain. I told them that Daddy and I were no longer going to accept whining. I told them that our new slogan was going to be "whining gets you nothing".  We talked about how David did not whine and fuss about facing the giant. He was bold and called on the name of the Lord to help him and he won his battle! When we call on the name of the Lord he will bring us help!

We have already begun operation no whining. Last night Naomi was whining at reading time and she was sent to her bed and was not allowed to read with us. Today, Maddie was having a hard time getting a grip on her whining and complaining. I reminded Maddie that this was a Goliath in her path right now and to be like David and ask for God's help. Remembering David's good attitude, helped Maddie to calm down and get control of her attitude.

We were taught that a habit takes 6-8 weeks to master. We are at the beginning stages of our training and I do say ours. Because Mark and I are just as much mastering the art of not grumbling and complaining just as the kids our.

I hopped on the Internet to find some articles on dealing with whining, one article I found it home. The author said that it is important to replace the whining with gratefulness and thankfulness
. Which excites me, because really, we are mastering two habits rolled into one. Learning the art of seeing what he have been given or are being given and being content to not have more. Learning to be thankful, learning see the blessing in what we already have.

Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord I am able to instill in my children Godly habits that will see them well through life. Scripture says, Philippians 2:14-16 "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”  Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life". 

Lord, mold us and shape us into your image!

Bloom were you're Planted

My man and I in the doorway
of the tack barn that made galloping possible!

Minnesota is NOT were I pictured I would be planted, but, here I am none the less. Eight years ago I was literally galloping through the rocky mountains of Colorado. I was high in altitude and high on the adventures of life. I was a rock climbing, bike riding, horse riding, cross country skiing fool! I lived in a small, four bedroom, a bit bigger than a shack of a house, and loved it! While I was in Colorado God stretched me, molded me, and refined me. Then, when God thought I was ready, he sent me back to the one place I did not sign up to go. I would have raised my hand in a second to go to the far reaches of Africa, but Minnesota, come on, really?!

What is in Minnesota? Why, about four or five generations of my family. Minnesota is were my great, great, great, great grandfather decided to build a homestead. It is were my family is. It was suppose to be a quick stop in our newly wedded journey. A couple years spent with family, then off to who knows where. Some where exciting, some where amazing. However, I got pregnant six months after our wedding, this halted our plans real quick. Then, a couple months after I gave birth to our daughter I got severe post partem and our daughter became severely colicky. About a year after our daughter was born, we even attempted to escape Minnesota. We journeyed to Oregon, then after seven months, my husband got laid off.  We then journeyed back to Minnesota. Here we are, back in Minnesota.

 So, here I am in Minnesota, not Africa, not Colorado, Minnesota. Yet, I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt. It is were we are suppose to be. It is where God has chosen to plant us and use us for his glory.  I am indeed a full time missionary! I am on the front lines of the battle field of salvation for souls. The Lord is using me right where I am! I am a wife and a mom who chooses to make sure our home is a well oiled machine and home school my three kid's. I am training my little apprentice women and my apprentice little man to love the Lord their god with all their heart, mind, and soul. I have a huge ministry to my husband and to my children.

My mission field (my kiddo's) in our backyard!

God is using me in the lives of other mom's seeking to home school their kiddo's. God is using me in the lives of me nieces and nephews. God is using me in blessing others with meals. I am simply living life, opening up myself to others, being real, being honest. Being someone others can struggle with, struggle and be set free by the truth of the word of God.

I have learned that simply plodding along in the humdrum of the everyday, is the heart of being a missionary.  I am willing, I am wanting to be used by God, and indeed he is using me!

23 degrees! Outside they Go! Hands on learning!

Minnesota is more often snowy and cold than it is anything else. Our kids can be cooped up inside for literally months at a time. Everyone, including parents, go stir crazy. We have our homeschooling outings going ice skating and bowling. While those times are fun and let them wear off energy, there is nothing like sending them out the back door to explore their world. The fun part about sending them outside for me is watching the differences in their play while outdoors. Some go right to work finding something they can "work" on, others gaze at their surroundings mesmerized by all the animals business. Some of the kids are content watching other kids as they "work" and watch the animals. Yet, other times they play together and fine something to do as a whole group.

With their pails, shovels, trucks and cars, they go and explore the world around them. Without knowing it they experience textures, they experience working together and having to share, learning to give up what they want for the good of someone else. They learn that trying to walk up an icy hill may not be the best idea, nor the safest. They learn to be careful, they learn how many shovel fulls of snow will fit in their buckets (learning both science and math).

Playing outside is chalk full of learning experiences, but, mostly, it's just plain ole fun!!

Read your bible, Pray everyday

Madeline's flowers growing from good nutrients

Today, during circle time, the kid's learned the ways that we can get to know God.

1st, we learned that Prayer, is the way we are able to have a conversation with God. It's one of the ways he talks with us. Prayer, allows us to tell Him our fears and concerns, it allows us to give him thanksgiving and praise.

2nd, if we read our bibles and pray everyday, we will grow, grow, grow. If we neglect our bibles and do not pray every day we will shrink, shrink, shrink (are you singing the song in your head?)

We discussed what happens to plants when they are watered and given the nutrients they need. They flourish, grow, and are beautiful. Growing and giving the seeds they need to be replanted. We then talked about what happens when plants don't get watered or taken care of. They wilt and become dead and useless.

Naomi's flower's growing from nutrient's

Today, they drew pictures of flowers, but next week I am going to buy white flowers from the flower market. We are then going to cut a bit of the stem off of our flower, put water in vases and then add food coloring to the water. We will then watch as our flowers turn colors as they drink the water in the vase. This does two things, it helps us see first hand how flowers get water (science), it also let's us see how when we have God's word in our hearts, when we are in relationship with God. When we "soak" up God's nutrients, he changes us and the world is able to see something beautiful in a messed up, scarred world.