Confession

I desperately need to loose weight. I am what doctors call obese. The word sounds horrible and disgusting to me. I want to not only loose weight but I want to have energy. I want to wake up ready to tackle whatever lies ahead and know I have the energy to be able to do so. Having the physical energy some how also helps me with all the other parts of me. How do I discipline myself. I also am praying about what is the underlining cause of my eatting. The other frustration and I realize this is a phase is excerise. I really, honestly don't have time. The only time is at about five am which would be ok if Naomi could sleep through the night and if Maddie wasn't coming in our room at night and letting us know she needs to go potty. I am thankful we are at this stage in potty training where she is able to realize as she's sleeping she needs to go potty BUT it would be super if she could get through the night dry AND sleep through the night. We'll get there. Naomi has always been behind Titus in eatting which means she's behind him in sleeping because she can't pack the food away like he can. Like Maddie Naomi will get there. In the meantime I need to get my eatting under control and pray for the Lord to work in excersie. It will come I know it will! Weight has always been an issue and will probably always will be an issue. But it's one I can conquer and it's one I can control. My goal is to fit into a bikini I was able to fit in when Mark and I first got married and to fit into my wedding dress better than I did when I wore it down the ile. It's a tough road a head of me and I'm not sure how to start it. I'm not sure where to go BUT I am confident the Lord will take my hand and show me and get me where I need to go. I also need to loose weight because diabetes runs in my family and it starts later in life around 30's and 40's. The places I gain weight are the areas that most commonly trigger diabetes. I don't want a diease that I can control weather I get it or not. I WANT to loose weight I NEED to loose weight! Pray for me for this journey of loosing weight and KEEPING it off!!! I realize I had twins six months ago. I realize that you cannot loose in six months but nine months puts on and twins none the less. Things don't go back the way they are suppose to after being that stretched out! But I need to start my journey. I need to eat smart. I need to excerise smart. Make the time weather I'm tired or not. Perhaps I will be less tired if I am excerising! One step at a time I will get there!