God is working in my heart. I have struggled and feared dying. Not how I'm going to die or when I'm going to die. I'm even really afraid of how I'd die, there are ways I'd rather not die but I'm not really afraid of them either. I am afraid of part of death when you leave the body. Once I leave the body I am on my own or so it has felt. I have always had someone to walk with me my mom, my sisters, great friends, Mark. God has blessed me in so many ways with great people in my life. I have asked the Lord to deal with this fear, to bring it to a place of peace and comfort. Like an amazing father and saviour he has removed my fear!
I am reading the book The Hiding Place! Now I am reading the book Tramp for the Lord! here is the part that has removed my fear and given me a glimps into my spirit when I am no longer in my body. A lady named Conny traveled with Corrie Ten Boom, the author of the books. Conny traveled with Corrie throughout her speaking ingagements. Conferences, et. Conny was diagonised with a terminal diease and this is what she said about death in the hospital when the doctors told her there was no cure for her. Slowly she said, "I have taken many trips in my lifetime but there was always someone with me. Mother was there when I was small, Corrie was with em during many of the, and now my husband is with me. But on this trip, who is going to go with me? her husband gently took her hand and said, "Conny, here is my hand and as soon as Jesus comes for you, I will surrender your hand to Him!"
I can imagine Jesus taking my hand like a school girl and walking me to heaven. holding my hand while I look in amazement at the golden streets, the many rooms, my room! The one he has set up and has ready for me! I imagine the immediate and surpassing peace that one can only have in heaven! I imagine being in awe and speachless. Looking at Jesus asking with my eyes am I really here! Him responding with his eyes, YES! You are exactly where you should be, well done good and faithful servant! I am my beloveds and he is mine his banner over me is love. Indeed it is love and he is waiting for me! Ready to take my hand and bring me to the father! Thank you Jesus for reminding me and making it clear to me you will hold my hand in heaven as you have held it on earth! You are faithful to give your children the knowledge and heart knowledge we need when we need it!