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Friday, January 29, 2010

hmmm...mommy hood

Finding out we were having twins was shocking to say the least. To find out they were a boy and girl were awesome! Mark would finally have his buddy. To have my water break at 33 wks. while early was not unexpected for as low as they were sitting and as uncomfortable as I had gotten. They say that when you start to get your crabbiest is when you'll go into labor. I don't know if that is true but I certainly think it's true for myself anyways.

Now we find ourselves with one baby discharged and one working on it. We are excited don't get me wrong, but if we thought having two babies in the hospital is hard, having one at home and one at the hospital is harder. Harder because one has to stay with Titus while the other one makes the trek alone to the hospital. Mark rolls with the punches and is laid back about it all. Me, I like someone to hold my hand through things like this. Towns any bigger than Albert Lea freak me out. You give me a four lane highway and I gladly give the wheel over to Mark. The thought of down towns with buildings high enough I could say hello to God from the roof intimadate me. So here I am in the midst of down town Rochester. Not huge mind you, but it's certainly no Albert Lea where the biggest traffic jam is the fourth of July. Yet the thought of staying behind with Titus freaks me out because again I need someone to hold my hand and tell me yes he's crying but you're doing great and he's fine. What a wuss I am turning out to be.

On top of it my phobia of not being able to get my babies to stop crying is kicking in high gear. My brain some how remembers walking the floor with Maddie and her being inconsoleable. So now I not only have one baby, but two babies to try and calm my brain about. Inside I am more than happy when Mark feeds Titus. I am afraid of doing anything with him. Do all moms feel this way or is it just me? It's hard on Mark because he doesn't understand the crazy mixed up emotions. It's hard for me because I don't understand them and while he is good about letting me cry, I don't know how to explain to him the craziness going on in my mind and coursing through my body.

The night time is the roughest. When my defenses are tired, my wires are fussed and used up. Yet what do I have to do but to help my babies through the night. I am praying and working through my phobia of not getting enough sleep. Afraid of getting so tired I can't function, think rational, etc.

Being home will be fabulous. But I also have to stop and wonder how overwhelmed I am going to feel. How things will work out. Breath Robin, take it one day, one moment, one hour at a time. Breath, Breath, Breath! Slow the horse down and actually hitch it to the wagon before you freak out. Let's calm the brain down and think this through. Claiming God's truths, clinging to the reality of the moment, asking God for calmness, direction, and clarity. Thanking him for allowing Mark to be at my side! Praise the Lord for Mark being here!

I'm sure there will be more posts of my crazy brain to come!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

twins update!

The twins have had billy rubin tests and we are waiting on the results. They both have IV's in which may actually be taken out shortly depending on what their blood test results have to say. They are in seperate rooms now but as they start getting stronger they will eventually put them in the same crib. We praise the Lord for all he has done and his hand in the recovery of the twins. All prayers are appreciated!

The Minnesota Twins

The Minnesota Twins are Here! Naomi decided to break my water at 1:30am on Wednesday morning. We rushed Maddie to Grandpa and Grandma's and made a mad dash to the hospital, confirming that my water had indeed broke and we were going to welcome the twins into the world. After deciding that I was ok for transport, they cherry and blued me in an ambulance to Rochester, MN. Sending only two paramedics we rushed down the freeway. If I had not been in so much pain watching the paramedics face while I had contractions was priceless. With every contraction I could see written all over his face please don't have these babies here, please don't have these babies here! Thankfully to both of our reliefs the twins held off. We arrived in Rochester about an hour later and arrived at the emergancy entrance. Unlike Albert Lea, this hospital did not have in garage parking for it's ambulances and I was taken out of the ambulance in minnesota winter in just the gowns they give you at the hospital and to top it off the EMT's had to wait while someone buzzed us in, then they had to decide what elevator to take. To the relief of the EMT's I was successfully safe and some what sound in the delivery wing of the hospital. Dialated at four I tried to tell the staff to start the ebadural abut no they weren't listening to me and continued not to listen to me! Finally I told them they needed to check me and sure enough I had dialated to 6. Now they decided I could have drugs if I wanted to, which I did. The anasteologist did not have time to do one I had then dialated to eight and on down the hall to the OR we went. Naomi shot out like a canon ball, while Titus took his own sweet time. Nothing like having fourteen minutes for all the free world to see everything no one else ever wanted to see. Finally they decided to break Titus's water and with four pushes he joined his sister with hardy cries of outrage! After about half an hour I was transfered to the postpartum floor where exhausted and full of nice relaxing drugs I dozed in and out. Praise the Lord for safe delivery and a swift and fast labor! Praise the Lord Naomi held off entering the world until we were somewhere they could be safely helped! More about the twins will be coming as well as pictures.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Tinker Bell

Goodnight Tinker Bell!
The dress came with earrings

Yes that is her robe under the dress

She was sure to make sure we got a picture of her fairy wings

Beautiful Maddie...AKA Tinker Bell

Maddie got a Tinker Bell dress from my MIL. As soon as I took it out of the box she gasped and said OH TINKER BELL!!! She immediately had to put it on, ate supper in it, took a bath, then put it right back on over her robe, then decided to she needed to sleep in it. She continually made sure I knew she was tinker bell and that she had wings. She also said mommy I need to fly, which I of course told her she needed to wait until daddy got home. A true princess!