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Thursday, March 24, 2011


For Marks video class he had to do a "how to" video. After brainstorming, he decided filming me making sauerkraut would be a good idea. Here is the end result. Perhaps there will be more to follow!

Friday, March 11, 2011

When can I say enough and walk away?

Like Maddie walking out of the grass,
we need God the Fathers hand to walk us out of situations

There have been people and situations in my life that I have said, "that's it, I'm done, I"m dusting my feet and walking away." There have been situations recently that have caused me to pause as I have wanted to say those exact words. I have come to the conclusion, that until I feel confident that I can stand in front of the throne of God with confidence. I cannot be done with certain relationshipss or circumstances.

What does this mean? I believe it means that I need to be on my knees, listening for guidance, watching for what God wants me to do in the relationship or circumstance before me. Does God want me to go ask forgiveness? Do I need to be reconciled with someone? We are commanded as Romans 12:18 says, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." I believe that our unwillingness to forgive can and will affect your relationship with God. Matthew 5:24, " leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.

There are times when I have told myself that I am at peace with a relation or circumstance and it was ok to be done with it. When in all honesty I haven't seeked God or gotten his persmission to walk away.  I give myself permission without seeking God, because I don't want to deal with either the person or circumstance. I don't want to own up to what I must do. I give myself excuses, for example I have a husband and three kids and it's really easy to give myself an easy out there. To the outside world it seems legitamite to but my famly "first", but I know better. I know that if God wants me to invest time in a relationship outside of my husband and kids he will provide the time, the money, and energy. “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 I have no excuse not to pursue something I know God is asking me to do.

So what does it boil down to...obediance. It requires me to look my responsibilty in the face and obey. I am to ask forgiveness were forgiveness is needed. I am to spend time with those I may not want to spend time with. I am to put forth effort into circumstances I may not want to give effort.

What is my reward? My reward is peace with God and peace with mankind (or at least an attempted peace with mankind). Peace with the God who has created all beings and has created me. My reward is standing with confidence on this earth knowing that when Jesus calls me home to heaven, I can stand before his throne with my head held high. I can stand before his throne with confidence that I will hear, ""His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master." Matthew 25:23

While I am on this earth I am going to sin, unintentionally and sometimes on purpose. But I can be rest assured because, "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6  It's all part of the refining process!

I am a imperfect being, being made perfect by the author of perfection. One day the author of perfection will call me home, and I will be able to stand with confidence and hear the new perfect name God has for me.

Monday, March 7, 2011

A love letter...

I got a love letter this morning. It wasn't on a piece of paper, it didn't come with candy, but it was an act of love none the less. This morning I woke up and proceded with the day. But as all mothers can tell you, you have no idea what is going to get done, how it's going to get done, and if anything is going to get done in your day. Sometimes at the end of the day if a mom can say I survived the day, she has accomplished a lot! Today however is something I will call a miracle.
Today by an act only known for God to allow, I cleaned not one but TWO closests! I did the kids laundry and Mark and I's laundry. I vaccumed and even emptied some trash cans. I pulled out clothes the twins have out grown from their drawers and put them in proper places. That's amazing! Normally for lack of time I would throw them on a pile to be delt with at a later date. Apparently, today was that day! I threw stuff away, have stuff to give away, and stuff to give to the salvation army. Awesome!

My two love languages are quality time and acts of service. I'm not sure if acts of service has always been a need for me or if it has surfaced because I have a husband and three kids? Hard to say. If acts of service isn't met, it is very hard for me to do quality time. Because I see everything around me that needs to be done. I am getting better at becoming Mary and not a constant Martha, but it is a battle I have to keep in the for front of my mind. I have to remember dishes will get done, my kids being little and wanting to play with me is only for a short time.

I have been frustrated because my house is unorganized and cluttered. I know I have three kids, 4 years old and younger. I know I'm busy, but to me that is not an excuse to have an unorganized place. If anything it causes more frustration, because I don't know were things are. Plus organization makes Marks brain relax and allows his home to be his haven. I want our home to be our haven, the place we can come to get away from a big bad world. The place my family can connect, love God and love each other.

Now that I have most of the closests organized, I can start doing what I call deep organizing. Deep organizing is for example putting all of Mark and I's medicine in one container, then taking the kids medicines and putting them in a container. We keep a lot of our bathroom stuff in under our bathroom sink, in their I will put all of my makeup in one basket, my hair products in another basket, the kids shampoo, etc, in another basket. This makes things SO much easier. If I'm doing my hair I take out the basket for it and I don't have to dig for two minutes.

I am so thankful for my love letter from God this morning. I do also have to give lots of credit to Maddie because she played with the twins for a long this morning and that kept them busy and happy. Hurray for a God who hears my heart and praise the Lord for a wonderful big sister who loves her babies!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Betty Crocker still does flops

I have been compared to Betty Crocker or Susy Homemaker (whoever she is) and I usually don't mind. So long as it's in an enduring way and not in a condesenting "I don't know why you would ever make homemade pasta, broth, or eat sauerkraut." If you don't know why, if what I do doesn't make sense to you, ask me. I am an open book or open blog.

 But today that is not my point. My point is I still have flops, my flops may not result in unleavened loaves of bread anymore (once upon a time there were plenty of flat loaves that were suppose to be risen loaves of delicious) or glops of something we are not sure what it is, but I do still have flops. There are plenty of times I can't hit the seasonings on the head and the taste in a meal is completely off. There are other times when I decide something would be a delicious addition and it turns out to be an awful addition. There are still times when my flops result in nothing but to be thrown in the garbage.

But somestimes my flops come from my ordering 25lbs of graham flour, instead of 5lbs of graham flour. That is a big difference. A difference that turned out to be great flop. We have discovered that we like graham flour and for most recipes it can be switched out cup for cup in recipes that call for whole wheat flour. Who knew! Now I stocked up on graham flour and don't have to order it again. If I didn't have to research what else to do with my graham flour, I would have stuck simply making graham crackers, because I wouldn't have needed to use it up.

My point and encouragement is this, if you are starting out cooking, culturing, soaking, blending, sprouting and it's not going well, don't give up! Hang in there! It is frustrating to attempt something when it just doesn't seem to be working, but there will come a point when all of a sudden it works, something clicks and it FINALLY does work out. For example, the first time I took out my almost perfect loaf of honey mustard oatmeal bread out of the oven. It smelled amazing, it looked like it should be in a magazine, and it was wonderful to eat! Success!

Someday I will take pictures of my flops and of my family eatting my flops (they are very good sports at eatting my half way decent flop meals).

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Titus 2

I have the deep desire to minister to other women. I want to teach them and show them how to love the Lord their God with all their heart and all their souls. I want to be other women's cheerleader! I want them to know that whatever God has called them to, is possble. I want women to know if God has called them they have exactly what they need to accomplish it. There are times we have some of what we have to accomplish what God has asked, but there are also things God wants to teach us and show us that he cannot do until we start out on the journey he's asked us to take. Whatever the joureny, God is right beside you.

I want to teach women how to cook nourishing food to feed their families. I want to teach them how to do it as easily, efficently, and as healthy as I can. With a little more time in the kitchen, organization and preperation, it is possible. I want to walk life with other women, crying and dying to ourselves daily to serve Jesus and to serve our husbands and our childrens.

 Titus 2: 3-5
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Not only do I have the desire to teach women, I have a command from God in Titus to teach younger women. Not that I do it well myself, but I strive to do it well, I strive to make my husbands home his haven. I strive to make our home a place my husband and my children want to be.  I am learning that in my taking care of my husband and kids, that in and of itself is ministry. If Mark is well taken care of, if my kids are well behaved (within reason of kids being kids) this says a great deal to a world that is watching. A world that wants to know why I have stuck with Mark through three years of school, two years of which we aren't sure he's going to use. I have been at times a single parent while he's been working and going to school. There have been times I have loathed his homework and other times his homework feels like "the other women". I have had no idea that other women have been watching me support him and wondering how I do it. I look at them and say what do you mean, you just do it. But I guess they are right I didn't have to hang in there with him, but what was my other choice? Find a more "successfull" guy who has "the right" job? Um, nope, when I stood with Mark and told him I would be his wife forever, that is exactly what I meant. There have been times I have wanted to throw in the towel BUT God is bigger than whatever Mark and I will face.

Because I am not perfect, I want other women to know it's ok to not be perfect. But it's not ok to stay in that imperfect place. God loves us enough to ask us to change for his glory. We need to trust God enough to change.  It does wonders for a woman to sit down with another woman and talk out life. Talk about life, meals, kids, periods, hormones, and everything else. So what I want to do is start my coffee pot, brew a cup of tea, and sit down outside or at my kitchen table and be real with other women. real with me!