I had no idea what I committed to the day I said, "I do".
Full of ideas of love, laughter, fun and joy.
Was I ready, would I have ever been ready to give up my freedom?
But what kind of freedom did I want to keep?
The right to tell myself when, where, why, and how to do things?
Do I have that right anyways, is not that mindset only foolish thinking.
For Jesus is his name, I call him Lord of my life, the one who gave His all...even His own blood.
I had no idea what I committed to when along came one tiny life, then two more.
This I definitely was not ready for.
Now any hope of ever attaining any freedom I wanted back was down the drain.
Not knowing that every moment, every day, would require selflessness.
I do not come by selflessness on my own naturally.
Selflessness was not the easy virtue I was bestowed upon.
I have to work at remembering to serve joyfully.
Another day, another nose to wipe, one more PB&J sandwich;
one more bottle, one more supper, one more roll in the hay.
Mind, Body, and Soul zapped...
The freedom I long for, True freedom is this...
To be so in tuned with my savior that there is no resemblance of me left.
The image that others see is not me, but Him.
Not needing the compliments of the world;
A comforting shield of protection as the arrows of the world merely bounces off me.
Neither mattering, because what I know to be true of me, is what I know He knows is true of me.
Being able to give completely, freely, being able to give my all...for the one who gave His all to me.
Overwhelming and depressing is the life of a selfless one when attempted on one’s own.
It is not possible to be selfless on one’s own strength.
The result is bitterness, resentfulness, anger, emotions run amuck.
Selflessness when submitted to the Savior is possible.