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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

If I sat still long enough

One of my most precious moments in life is when I get to sing and rock one of my babies to sleep. Maddie has not fallen asleep to my singing and rocking her for a couple years now, Naomi outgrew it at 6 months, and Titus outgrew it shortly after Naomi. But there are moments like tonight when Maddie's allergies awaken her and she struggles with coughing and the sniffles. Nights when all she wants is tylenol and rocking with mommy.

There are moments and nights when I am too tired and I simply escort her back to bed and rub her back for a bit. But then there are other moments like tonight where my mommy heart kicks in and I am reminded that my babes are only small but for a short time. Rocking my babes is one of the most sweetest moments and I don't think anyone fully understands until they themselves are a mommy.

It was tonight as I was rocking Maddie, relishing and soaking up every moment of cuddling with her that I realized. Perhaps this is the very safe, comfortable, relaxed feeling that God wants us to have with Him. To seek my solice and comfort from Him. Also, it causes me to think, does God look at me with the most utmost love, like I look at Maddi with the utmost love. There are moments when I look at my kids and think man, that child is mine. I am in awe that they could have possibly come from my body and are entrusted to me. It causes me to think, does God look at me like that? Does he look down from heaven and smile and say to Himself, wow, that child is mine! I hope so, I truly and dearly hope so! I want a father in heaven that looks at me with the utmost love, that looks at me with awe and wonder and thinks man I created her! I hope that God relishes in the tender moments I share with Him, like the tender moments I share with Maddie.

But it also causes me to think, in the mornng Maddie will not be still enough to sit on my lap and rock a bye. It will actually be the last thing she thinks about as she goes this way and that. This causes me to wonder, am I like that with God? Do I sit still long enough to enjoy be rocked by God, so to speak or am I like Maddie and get busy going this way and that.

For my next quite time I think I shall simply mediate on God's wonders and marvelous ways. Perhaps I will attempt to sit long enough to soak up the presence of God, my Father. Relishing that perhap my Father in Heaven is relishing also in the fact that I have come to sit with him, come to find comfort. Perhaps my Fathr in Heaven will relish in the moment with me, as I relish it when Maddie seeks solice with me! It's an overwhelming thought that God thinks of me in that way and loves me even more than I love Maddie! Now that's amazing and worth sitting still for!

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