The Lord is teaching me what it means to truly honestly give everything over to him. Telling him I'm annoyed, telling him I'm bitter, telling him I'm lonely. Sharing with him my excitement, rejoicing because I know any blessing has come from Him. I am truly learning to lean on the everlasting. Knowing he has never once given my care over to another. He allows his angels to guard me but that's like asking someone to babysit your kids so you can clean your house. Even though someones eye is on your kids your ears are still open. You still have a say, the say over what happens with your kids. Same with God. He lets his angels show concern over us, watch us, but HE has the final say. There is nothing outside of His control that he is ready to intercede on.
I am finding that dialouging with the Lord telling him is helping me hold every thought captive. I struggle a lot with being angry because I feel I am having to do my kids on my own. They are my kids and my responsibility. But I am taking my frustrations, my bitterness, and anger and bringing them to the feet of Jesus. Every time it comes up I go right to the throne! Tell all of it to him and my thoughts are taken captive, I remind myself (the holy spirit reminds me) what the truth of the matter really is, and continue. Often having to repeat these steps every second of everyday. But that's the beauty of Jesus He already knows this is something I need to do all day everyday. Allowing me to be closer to righteousness!